Nagging Feeling

Whoa!
What happened?
A thousand years just flew by!
Was I just twenty one or am I now 35?
I lay down for a second and cried myself to sleep.
A quarter century rolled by before I could weep.
If thinking be life and thoughtlessness death,
then whats in between is just drawing breath.
Drawing breath must be life,
for to live is to breath,
but what's living not thinking what deadly disease!
What's it take to wake up?
What's it take to see time?
What's it take to escape the greyscale I find,
when lying in bed,
not living not dead,
just stare at the ceiling while shaking with dread.
No effort expended and no effort lost,
no nothing at all just a thought holocaust.
Friends try to help but there's concertina wire around
and twenty foot walls to silence all sounds.
I can't hear their calls from the prison in bed.
The prison that leaves me with no words to be said.